Of Canadian Geese and Star Wars
by Alex Marr
Summary: From Tumblr... Suddenly got this mental image of Damian (in civvies) stumbling on a nesting pair of Canadian geese in the park in Gotham. He completely understimated how violently territorial they get, got himself pinned, and had no one but Tim to call for help. hahaha I would kill for someone to write this (I don't think I'd do it justice).


Bruce watched as the adorable scene started out. He already knew it wasn't going to end well, but he wasn't going to stop Damian. He had warned him once.

"Damian, don't go near the goslings, their parents are rather defensive."

But his warning was ignored. Damian had his tendencies to ignore Bruce from time to time. Bruce sighed, leaning his elbow on the chest board table. The game he was playing with Alfred was currently on hold. Alfred raised an eyebrow at the growing event.

"Master Bruce, is this a learning experience for the boy?"

"Indeed so. I don't plan on getting him out of it either. Those things are mean…"

Bruce pulled out his cellphone, bringing up the video recorder. Alfred couldn't help but smirk.

"You sir, are a cruel human being."

"Memories Alfred, memories."

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Damian held out bread crumbs, beckoning the baby geese to come his way. He kneeled down low to the ground to look less threatening and more welcoming. His street clothing made him look more like the child he was, then the boy wonder (nightmare) by night. The large black jacket with yellow stripes down the arms, was extremely loose on the boy, a hand-me-down from his father that went to Grayson, then Todd, then Drake, lastly to him.

"Come here little guys, I won't hurt you…"

The little geese waddled closer and closer. Their tiny beaks tickled his hand as they started to eat away at the soft tasty snack. Damian's blue eyes lit up as he let out a chuckle. The whole thing looked like it came out of a child's picture book. Damian was so lost at the cuteness of the baby geese before him, he didn't notice the looming darkness growing behind him.

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Tim glanced up from his comic book, hearing an un-characteristic scream come from the demon spawns mouth. The young boy ran at full speed, but he could shake the flying death traps that honked and screeched his way. Tim watched as Damian covered his head, pushing away at the birds, while not wanting to hurt them at the same time. Tim hid his smile behind the comic book, this was too entertaining. Tim was contempt underneath his tree, watching the show play out.

The humorous entertainment ended the moment Damian tripped on a rock and tumbled to the ground. It had now become imminent that the Canadian Geese were about the same size of the boy with a 7 foot wingspan and most likely on the heavy side. The boy hid his head, already giving up the fact he couldn't outrun them. Damian glanced up, seeing Drake glancing over at him.

"Drake, help me!"

The pitiful mew that escaped was almost laughable, if it wasn't for the picking and squawking monsters that didn't let up on the poor boy. Tim couldn't let this go on any longer, so he got up and made his way over. He rolled up his comic book, (for a worthy cause mind you) ready for an attack. Were Damian was afraid to hurt the animals, Tim was not.

Tim pushed one large goose out of the way, while swatting the other that dive bombed him. Tim, obviously being the bigger, wiser and aware, placed himself between Damian and the Geese. Tim yelled at them, flinging his arms and stomping his feet to chase away the protective parents. Damian pushed himself off the ground, backing away a bit, making as much distance as he possibly could.

"Damian, if you don't want them to chase you, stay by me."

Tim was still focused on the creatures, while keeping an eye on his younger sibling. Tim started to back up, which Damian followed. With a comfortable distance, Tim turned his back on the two geese and grabbed Damian's shoulder and guiding the boy over to a picnic table.

Damian sat down, red in the race, scraped up and bruised. Tim ruffled his head, a smirk on his face.

"Happens to the best of us."

"Says you, Drake! I'm a Wayne, I'm supposed to know when things sneak up on me."

"Didn't Bruce warn you?"

"Tt."

The boy crossed his arms and his lips turned into a pout. Tim smiled, un-rolling his comic book and returned to his spot underneath the shade of a tree. Damian crossed his arms on the table and hid his head. His ears burning red from embarrassment.

"Why are they so mean?"

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Dick sighed as he glanced from his new desk job. It was a part time gig, as Dick was being stubborn not wanting to accept Bruce's money and live life like a rich bachelor. The cellphone pinged, peeking Dick's interest.

Dick flipped his cell and had to blink twice. Bruce sent him a video text. During the daylight hours. Dick glanced around, making sure no one was around to nark on him using a cell at work. He clicked play and watched the magic happen.

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"Jason, your ass is ringing."

"Thanks for noticing Roybot…"

Jason smiled as he pulled out his cell. The word B-Man showed. He flipped it and saw a video message.

"Wonder what this is?"

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The doorbell rang to the Wayne Manor. Alfred opened it and a smile fell on the old man's face.

"Boys, it's good to see you here again."

Jason smiled, a stuffed Canadian goose toy placed between his arms. Alfred smiled looking at the offending item.

"Hey Alfred, looking forward to some of your famous tea."

Dick had a cheeky smile on his face. Alfred sighed.

"Master Bruce sent you the video, didn't he? I do say, it was a humorous sight. Watching the young master run away like that."

"He seemed at a disadvantage, wasn't he?"

"No need to worry, Master Timothy was there to save the young Prince."

Both the boys laughed at that. Damian walked by, wondering what was going on.

"Grayson? Todd? What brings you here?"

Jason cracked a smile, tossing the goose toy to the brat.

"I'm here to teach you how to play "Duck, Duck, Goose."

Damian narrowed his eyes.

"What the hell is that? And what the hell is this?"

Dick smiled, trying to calm the growing storm his younger brothers from fighting.

"Jason's just being thoughtful… and "Duck, Duck, Goose" is a childhood game…."

Tim walked into the hallway, a smirk plastered on his face.

"I knew I wasn't hearing things…Nice editing skills on the video by the way…"

Dick looked at Jason and Tim. As did Alfred and Damian once Jason cracked up laughing.

"That wasn't me. It was Roy who did all the computer stuff."

Damian crossed his arms.

"What is it that that red-headed monster could possibility do with a computer?"

Tim smiled, texting the video over to Dick, Damian and even Bruce. Damian opened the suspicious text video to revile Drake defending Damian from the geese, but it was edited in a cartoony way.

"What is this?"

Alfred glanced over Dick's shoulder to watch the video. Dick cracked up laughing. Alfred held a hand to his face to stop his laughter.

In the video, the two geese were dressed up as the Sith Warrior and the Darth Maul. The wings being the red lightsaber. Tim on the other hand, was Luke Skywalker. His rolled up comic book at become the green lightsaber. Damian on the other hand, was dressed up as Princess Leia, being the "damsel in distress".

Dick was trying to wipe away the tears.

"Roy made this, I'm impressed…"

Damian looked like hell had frozen over. The older men looked on at the younger, watching as his face grew redder and redder with every second passing.

"I don't understand this reference….but why the hell am I wearing a dress in this?"

The room fell to silence, until Tim broke it.

"You've never seen Star Wars…"

Bruce walked in with DVD's in hand. A smile plastered on his face.

"Movie time! Star War's Marathon staring with Episode IV."

Dick and Jason high fived each other. Tim started to run towards the kitchen, wanting a head start on snack making. Alfred followed close behind him. Bruce placed the DVD's in Damian's hands.

"Set up the living room, it's time for family bonding over movies…and training of course…"

Bruce "left" in the training part, to bait Damian into watching the movie with interest. He patted the boy on the head before vanishing into the darkness.

Damian looked on dumbfounded, stomping in the process.

"What the hell is Star Wars?"

He turned around to see if Grayson or Todd would answer him, but the two had strangely vanished. Damian frowned, looking at the DVD boxes and wondering if he'd ever learn what was so special about this movie…

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When the family emerged, Damian was slightly horrified to see that everyone had changed clothing.

Tim was, as he looked in the doctored video, a person called Luke Skywalker.

Jason was Han's Solo.

Dick was Young Obi Wan Kenobi.

Alfred was Old Obi Wan Kenobi.

And Bruce….Bruce was Darth Vader.

Damian looked on at his family like they had totally lost it. He almost lost it himself when he saw his dog Titus, walk up in a hairy costume sporting a gun belt, that Jason "dubbed" Chewbacca. Damian was ready for the worst of it. He sat down and took his fate to watch the video, for training purposes of course.

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By the end of the Episode VII, Damian too was dressed up in a costume.

An Ewok.

"Damn it to hell I'll be Kissing Drake or Marring Todd…AND There is no way I am Princess Leia."

Damian crossed his arms.

"Tt."


End file.
